Process & Purpose Part 2: Staying true to you
“Life is greater if you live with purpose. When you find a meaningful reason for doing what you do, you will feel complete.”
In part 1, "Does your process lead to purpose,” I shared a bit about my process and purpose and how it has led to a greater sense of pride and confidence in myself; a meaningful career that gives me purpose; and a fulfilling and balanced life of intention that makes me whole, allowing me to share the best version of myself with my family, my students, my co-workers, and my friends. After reading that first shog (short blog) you may have asked: how do I start to live with purpose?
Start by asking yourself: who are you, who do you want to be for others, and what do you believe?
Now, you might be thinking, this isn’t for me - I already know who I am…I am me every day. And you are right - you wake up in your skin every day, making decisions about what to eat, where you’re going, what to do, and how to do it. All these decisions are made based on your experience - a carefully curated list of likes and dislikes.
My follow-up question to you is: does every decision you make every day align with your identity (who you are, who you want to be for others, and what you believe)? More often than not, the answer is no. But if you know who you are, then why is the answer no?
With social media and our phones at our fingertips, life, including our identities, has become so consumable. It has become all too easy to compare ourselves, our family, relationships (both personal and professional), decisions, habits, hobbies, jobs, beliefs, and lifestyle to everybody else’s. Why do we do this? It’s human nature. For us, seeing is believing so as Gloria from Modern Family, once said, “you see it there [on your phones/laptops], you think it here [in your head], you feel it here [in your heart].”
Now, think of a time where someone has disagreed with a belief or characteristic that defines you. How often have you just gone along with the other person instead of engaging in a disagreement? How often have you actually verbalized agreement even though you knew, in your heart, that you disagreed? That is what I am talking about here - living with purpose requires you to know who you are and be that consistently (especially when you are misaligned or in disagreement with someone). I mean, people are going to talk about you anyway, might as well be who you are, do what you love, and live with purpose, right?
I am a firm believer in that someone’s true identity, someone’s true character, is seen in its truest form in times of struggle - that is when you truly get to know who someone is, because the hardest test of character is in the struggle. So do you want to be someone who stands for what they believe, lives their truest life with purpose? I bet the answer is yes, so let’s get to work. The caveat: there is no shortcut. It takes time to build a better, stronger version of yourself.
I have used the exercise below to identify and drive my personal, my teacher, and my small-business owner identity and brand. I have also used this with all the teachers I have coached (from brand new to veteran). I even use this process with my clients.
Step 1: Who are you? Make a list of adjectives, nouns, and key phrases that describe you (as a person).
The first 2 columns under Veronica (Me), answer the first question in Step 1. The following 4 columns under Mrs. R (teacher me) and Sosaprised Crafts (Business Owner Me), answer the question in Step 2.
Step 2: Who do you want to be for others? Make a list of adjectives, nouns, and key phrases that describe you as a professional, friend, and any other major role you play in your life.
Step 3: Prioritize - highlight, star, or circle the 5 most important characteristics on all lists. As you are prioritizing, think: why am I picking these and why are these my most defining characteristics?
Step 4: Using the top 5 most important characteristics for each list, answer these questions:
How will you translate the most important aspects of your identity into your work/craft? What will this look, feel, and sound like on a daily basis? For example, the way I translate transparency through my teaching is: I explain the “why” for everything I do for my students; I tell my students that there is a reason for everything we do in my class and if I forget to tell them the reason we are doing something they can ask me and I won’t be offended; I reiterate this message every day, explaining why for everything we do (from our daily greeting to our exit ticket and closure routine at the end of class).
How does the vision of your department, your family, your organization, etc. align to your identity? This question is meant to help you start to align your identity with what you do so you can start establishing your purpose.
What are some easy wins for you? What actions have you already taken or can easily incorporate into your daily routines, decisions, habits, or work style that you can readily maintain? Select 1-2. We must celebrate our successes along with identifying our struggles. You should not just focus on one or the other - you must work to balance the two (they are both important for you growth). You can’t grow without knowing what is working - you should be working toward maintaining these successes.
What will be your biggest struggles in translating your identity into every decision you make on a daily basis?
Step 5: Break down your struggles into actionable, manageable, and feasible next steps. Start by selecting one of your struggles (the one that can be the biggest lever in all aspects of your daily routine (personal and professional). Ask yourself:
What are the components/parts that make up this struggle?
How do you usually approach struggle? How will you approach this particular struggle? Can you find a buddy to help? Create a list of 2-3 action steps to overcome this struggle.
Step 6: What is your vision for your life? When you see yourself successfully attaining it, what does it look like, feel like, and sound like? Create a theme, write a phrase, sum it up in one word. Do not spend too much time on this part - you will be revising it over time, as you continue to learn about who you are, who you want to be, and what your beliefs are.
Step 7: Compile your list of action steps from Steps 4 and 5. Ensure they align to your vision and develop a plan to monitor your progress - this could be creating a bullet journal spread; asking yourself at the end of the day/week/month: how did I live with purpose? is this aligned to who I want to be for myself and others?; having a buddy to hold you accountable and check in with on a weekly basis. This step is key to your success and you need to make this something that works for you. Otherwise, you will never know if you are achieving your vision.
Step 8: Go back through the steps, once a quarter, semester, year. This will allow you to analyze your successes and struggles and continue to figure out your identity and purpose. Remember, your identity and purpose come from your experiences (some of which you have not had yet) so make sure you are consistently spending time reflecting on all the above. It is human nature to grow, adjust, and need something different at different stages and chapters of our lives and it’s up to us to listen to ourselves, be kind to ourselves, show ourselves grace, and, ultimately, hold ourselves accountable to what we want to achieve. Stop yourself from comparing your journey to someone else’s - you are you. You cannot find your purpose and live it without knowing your identity. Your identity is your foundation and you must have the courage to live it every day. Every single decision you make from what you want to eat to which shirt you wear to which job you take to where your next trip will be to how you balance work and life needs to become naturally in tune with who you are, who you want to be for others, and your beliefs. This deep analysis of yourself is your first step to finding your purpose.
